Catalyze Change in Your Life
Jul 31, 2017
Disclaimer: I felt called to write this post. This is my niche! I love making these lessons feel accessible! I love the idea that you can create your life, no matter what your background and past experiences are! That said, I am feeling incredibly fearful of actually posting this because I don't want to lead people down a path they don't know how to get out of. Please, listen to your inner knowing. You know yourself better than anyone. Only you can know if this feels right for you - at this moment in your life.
I also want to honour those who have felt the pain of experiencing the deepest low! Please know that this is in no way to minimize your experiences.
I love you and only want the best for you!
Discomfort is an incredible catalyst for change!
You hear these stories of people hitting "rock bottom" and rocketing into a massive change; and, if you're like me, you think to yourself: "But I don't want to hit rock bottom." and "Thank God/Angels/Universe/Infinite Energy that I haven't hit rock bottom - please don't let me!" and "I know I'm here for more, yet where I'm at is fine...crap, how do I get out of this norm!?"
Here's the thing: You don't have to actually fall to rock bottom! You can use discomfort in your life to create a sense of bottom without actually having to be in that place.
You can intentionally create dissonance in your life.
WARNING: Respect the energy!
Your first step is THE MOST IMPORTANT one.
1. Know what you want
Get clear on your vision for the future.
There are so many ways to do this! Here are a few ideas:
- Meditate: sit in meditation, feel your breath, tune into your breath, connect with your inhales and exhales. As you sit in this meditation, ask for guidance and clarity around your ideal life. Notice words, phrases, people, feelings, images. Also, notice when you "hang onto" those ideas - those ones are likely related to ego (not bad, just notice). When you arise from your meditation, make notes of what came to you/what stood out to you.
- Free Write: centre yourself (however works best for you), tune into your breath. Ask for guidance and clarity around your ideal life, for example: "What would you like me to know about my future life?" or "What would you like me to know about my best life?" Allow your writing to flow - mine is currently quite bossy, telling me to drop my fears and step up!
- Vision Board: gather your materials (poster board, magazines, scissors, glue; magnetic board, magnets, clear rock beads), centre yourself (however works best for you), and start flipping through the magazines. Cut out pictures/words/phrases/images that speak to you - don't worry about the why. Once you feel complete, go through what you've cut out and select the ones that call to you. From there, create your vision board. Creative note: create this however you want to! My current vision board is a magnet board. I cut out small words to create the magnets, and have used those for the larger images.
- 10 Year Vision: I was first introduced to a similar exercise through lululemon and goal-setting - you write on your life 10 years from now. Typically, you describe a day, but you can also elaborate on that. Right now, I have one day, and I want to add some additional bullet points for key extras that didn't fit in the day. Here is a general script for this exercise.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make sure that you have the positive clearly outlined before you dive into the discomfort! PLEASE!
Check in with yourself and ensure you're coming to this from a place of strength. Because you're going to be creating dissonance in your life, you may notice emotions bubbling up - tune in and make sure you know how to work with your emotions and you may want to set up a support team. Just like actually hitting bottom, this may require assistance in moving through. HELP IS GOOD! Please create a support network!
2. Find the area of discomfort
Where do you most notice a disconnect in your life? You may know immediately, and you may need a visual to assist in sorting that out - or you may feel that everything is low and you don't know where to start. You can use the Wheel of Life (CTI) to identify, from 1-10, how satisfied you are with the various areas of your life - right now, today.
Ok, so...you may feel overwhelmed with where many of these areas are located, that's ok. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Listen to your heart/gut/body for which area to address first.
3. Lean into the discomfort
- Notice and identify what amplifies the feeling of disconnect - write about it/express through your form of artwork
- Intensify the feeling of disconnect by leaning into the feelings that arise when you are experiencing this disconnect (NOTE: "lean into the feelings" does not mean express the emotions - read: don't blow up/push your emotions on those around you)
- Notice and identify what part of you isn't being heard when you are in the discomfort. What is calling to you? What are you ignoring - listen to your heart/gut/body?
- Create a disconnect between what you want and where you are/what you're currently experiencing - consciously make yourself uncomfortable (I know I'm there when I feel an intense sensation of frustration - and my writing usually becomes all caps, and I cry)
- Feel a sense of loss - what do you not have that you so desperately want? I've found that the times where I fully allow myself to feel the loss of not living the life of my dreams, are the times of largest shifts.
Got it? It hurts in there, doesn't it? It's ok for it to hurt. That means you really want something else!
4. Uncover your limiting beliefs
Ask yourself these questions and allow the answers to arise from within you - some or all of them may trigger your answers. I offer that the ones you feel resistant to are the ones that will help you move forward the most.
- What are you believing that is holding you in these thought patterns and experiences?
- What are you telling yourself you can't have?
- What is the story that you're telling yourself around why you believe you can have what you desire?
- What words have others told you that you have accepted as truth?
- What are you afraid of if you were to actually live the life you have visioned?
- What identity would you lose if you were to step into this life that you have visioned?
- Who would you have to identify as in this life - and what is the judgement around that person?
5. Embody what you want
Ok, you've done the tough stuff. Now it's time to revisit the vision you created!
Allow yourself to feel into what it would be like to live in your vision, to live in your future. Feel the joy, love, passion, excitement - the resonance of your future life!
REALLY GO THERE! Allow the emotions to arise. Feel them. Laugh, dance, sing, jump, play!
Revisit them as you move about your day.
- As you're driving to work: How would you be feeling driving to your dream job? How would you be spending this time if you weren't driving to work?
- When you're at the gym: What would it be like to be working out with your partner there with you?
- When you're eating dinner: Who is eating dinner with you? What is the dynamic at the dinner table?
How does it feel to embody your vision after looking at your limiting beliefs?
6. Create action
- Open yourself up to help! Release the strangle hold of control you are clinging onto!
- Notice resources and follow the threads - if they feel right to you.
- Connect back to your vision - feel the joy and abundance of your vision!
- Identify how you can lean into what is calling to you more - what can you do less of/more of that speaks to the part of you that isn't feeling heard in the discomfort?
- Start to make decisions based on what your future vision would say/do/buy/eat/wear/decorate. (Don't spend like you stole it though! It's important to feel the feelings, and still stay in reality when it comes to certain things - finances.)
- Keep living your life! Allow the pieces to come together. Stay connected to your core. Allow for creative solutions!
This is not comfortable! I have done this a few times. Change isn't always instant. Sometimes it's frustrating. My suggestion is to start with something that is meaningful, that is emotionally charged, but is not something that would set you back for a long time.
Please reach out to me if you want support or have any questions about this process!